The Rat

The majestic Blanche sunning herself . . .and the neurotic, hyper-vigilant Soixante-Douze standing guard.


Some things are difficult to admit.

Even when I had a blurry glimpse of him running across the kitchen floor one morning I told myself he was just a big mouse.

After several days of finding turds that are indisputably bigger than mice turds . . .and several days of the compost bowl being turned over and finding banana peels mysteriously moved to the other side of the room . . .I am ready to admit that I have a rat living in the kitchen.

This morning I came down to find a half eaten banana!

I don't want to deal with rat poison . . .it has killed too many of the neighbors dogs and I don't want to add mine to the grim list.

Maybe I'll just grab the barn cat and let him sleep in the kitchen tonight.

I have a girlfriend coming to stay this weekend who keeps a very tidy house . . .she'll be in shock here . . .puppy feces decorating the doorstep every morning . . .chicken droppings wherever you step. . .rat droppings on the kitchen counter . . .I bet she'll be insisting that we eat breakfast, lunch and dinner in restaurants.

If my tiled floor is shining, it's only because there's a leak from the hot-water heat radiator or the puppy has just taken a leak.